The words that individuals use reveal quite a bit about their heart and their outlook on life. How does a person talk about himself/herself? What words do they use? How does a person talk about their job, their family, their future plans? What words do they use? The choice of words—even little, seemingly insignificant words—can reveal quite a bit.
So, when you hear someone else talk about the church (i.e., the congregation of which they are a member), what words do they use? To make it more personal, when you talk about your home congregation, what words do you use? Hopefully your terminology is positive and pleasant. Unfortunately, one’s choice of words regarding their home church are often negative and unpleasant. It might be “the elders” did not do what they thought should be done, or “the worship service” was not what they thought it should be, or “the preacher” did not say what they thought he should say, or “so-and-so member” did not treat them the way they thought they should be treated. Listen to the words that are chosen to get a glimpse into how others (yea, even into how you) feel about the church.
But, remember what was stated earlier—“even little, seemingly insignificant words can reveal quite a bit”? What about the pronouns that people use? What about the pronouns that we use? When you talk about your home congregation, do you talk about the church as “they” or as “us”? Think about it for a minute. Replay in your mind things that you have said. Do you say things like, “Here’s what THEY are doing down at the church”? Or, “Here’s what WE are doing down at the church”? Do you talk about the church as “THEM” or as “US”?
The pronouns you use reveal whether you feel like YOU are a part of the church or not. The pronouns disclose if YOU identify as being IN or OUT of the church. The pronouns unveil whether YOU have stepped in, engaged and become an active element of the church. The pronouns say a lot.
If you are one who often uses the word “they” or “them” (instead of “we” or “us”) to talk about your home congregation, can I ask you to take some time to consider why that is? What would it take for you to change your vocabulary to “we” and “us”? Are you waiting for something? If so, what is it and why are you waiting?
Regarding the relationship of those in the body of Christ, the Scripture states, “WE are members of one another” (Rom. 12:5; Eph. 4:25). It does not say, “They are members of one another.” There is a unity, comradery and family that must bring each of us to say, “WE belong to each other!”