“I would like to know the rules against someone who has been kicked out from being a member of the church. Can they not participate in any events? Can they not attend church? Can you not eat with someone who has been kicked out and no longer a member? That’s something I’m really confused about.”
I am really glad that you asked. I can understand how important this subject is to you, and I will do my best to explain what the Bible teaches. This is not my opinion or teaching on this, or the church’s opinion or teaching. I just want to share what the Bible says, because that’s what we are trying our best to follow in every way. I hope this will help show what God says.
The Bible says that when someone follows God’s plan of salvation that God adds them to His church (Acts 2:41, 47). Each Christian is to be part of a local congregation of His church (Acts 2:42-46; 9:26; 14:23; Eph. 4:12-16), and each Christian is to live a life that is faithful to God and following His Word (Rev. 2:10; 1 John 1:7; 1 Cor. 15:58). That doesn’t mean that they will be perfect, but it means that they will try their very best to live faithfully to God and be part of His church with other Christians trying to live faithfully to God.
The Bible says that if one of the members of the church stops living faithful to God and His Word that the church must respond and try to help to restore them (Gal. 6:1; Jas. 5:19-20). It starts by going to that member personally (Matt. 18:15). If that doesn’t work and the wayward member does not change, then Jesus says to “take with you one or two more” to try to restore him (Matt. 18:16). Finally, Jesus said that “if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church” (Matt. 18:17). The purpose of telling it to the church is to try to get the church to reach out and to restore the wayward member and get them back (Matt. 18:17; more on that in a minute). So we see that multiple attempts are made to get them to come back (also in Titus 3:10). But, if he/she will not even respond to the efforts of the church, then he/she is not to be kept in fellowship with the church (Matt. 18:17). The Bible doesn’t use words like “kicking them out.” The whole process (from beginning to end) has as its purpose to try to get the member to get back right with God. Let me show you some other verses.
The Bible tells the church to be mindful of and watchful for fellow Christians who “walk disorderly” and “do not obey” what the Bible says to do (2 Thess. 3:6, 14). This is not being nosey, but this is being concerned, because we want everyone to go to heaven and not miss it (Heb. 4:1). But, if we make the efforts above to get them to come back and get their lives right with God, and they choose to keep living against what God’s Word says, the Bible tells the church to “withdraw” from that person (2 Thess. 3:6). That may sound weird. Let me see if I can show you what the Bible (not David) says about this.
The Bible says that if a member has started following the devil and sin, instead of following Jesus and godliness, and that member has resisted efforts to restore them to the righteous living, that the church is to go ahead and “withdraw” from that person and let them go the way of the devil (1 Cor. 5:4-5). This is not to be mean. This is not to kick them out because we don’t want them. This is not to hope that they don’t go to heaven. In fact, just the opposite. The Bible says that the church is to do this (1) “that he may be ashamed” (2 Thess. 3:14) and (2) “that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus” (1 Cor. 5:5). So, the purpose of withdrawing is to try to wake them up to how they are living, cause them to be ashamed of what they are doing, realize they are on the wrong path, and to come back to God and be saved. That is what the Bible says.
Another purpose that the Bible gives to doing this is to save the church and keep the church pure. The way that it says this is, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump” (1 Cor. 5:6). That means that if you leave a little bit of “accepted sin” in the church like it’s no big deal and he/she can just keep on sinning that it sends a message to the rest of the church that “sin is not a big deal.” Leave a little and it affects the whole church. So, the purpose of withdrawing is to (1) save the wayward Christian and get them to come back and (2) save the church from the influence of sin being accepted inside the church.
When the church “withdraws” fellowship from an unfaithful Christian, it is not kicking them out and saying don’t ever come back. It is done in hoping that they will repent and come back. Can that person come back and worship with the church? Yes. Absolutely. And that is a great sign when they do. Anyone can come and worship God. But, the Bible tells the church, “Do not keep company with him” (2 Thess. 3:14; 1 Cor. 5:11), but to “put away” that person from yourself (1 Cor. 5:13). Again, that is not to be mean. It is designed to get the person to be ashamed of how they are living and to make changes to come back to God. So, the church members are not to socialize with the one who has been withdrawn from, and the Bible tells us that we are “not even to eat with such a person” (1 Cor. 5:11). Eating with somebody usually is a sign of fellowship and an indication that “we’re ok with each other and accept each other.” God tells us that we cannot show signs of fellowship or being ok with a fellow Christian who has wandered into the path of the devil and not come back.
God designed the church to have the purpose of helping to save souls. The church is supposed to teach people who have never obeyed the gospel, so that they can be “saved” (Mark 16:15-16). And, the church is to encourage each other in the church to remain faithful (Heb. 10:24-25). When someone has wandered back into sin (which separates us from God, Isa. 59:1-2; Rom. 6:23), then the church is to follow God’s plan (not some manmade plan) to try to get them to be restored to Him. The purpose of the church in reaching out to the lost and reaching out to wayward Christians is to try to help all of us get to heaven. That’s all that matters.