Sometimes it is wondered how a loving God could command that a “rebellious” son be stoned to death under the Law of Moses. That just doesn’t “fit” in what some people expect to be in the Bible. Let’s look at it briefly.
First, the discussion is found in Deuteronomy 21:18-21. The focus is on a “stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice” of his parents, and in his contempt for their authority, he “will not heed” his parents even after “they have chastened him” (21:18). This is not a matter of a child not finishing his supper or jumping on his bed like a trampoline. His refusal to “obey” (21:20) is called “evil”
(21:21)—it was a capital offense. In other words, there was unrepentant and flaunting sin inside their home, and all of their efforts to quell it were fruitless.
Second, put this into the whole context of the law. The law of God condemned murder, stealing and adultery (Deut. 5:17-19). The verse right before that demanded “honor” for parental authority, in order that “your days may be long” (5:16). Now, which of these commands was more important? Which of these commands would be punishable if not obeyed? Just the ones we consider “the big ones”? Consider the larger scope of passages dealing with rebellion against parental authority: “He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death…He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death…Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt” (Ex. 21:15, 17; Deut. 27:16). God took submission and obedience to parental authority very seriously, for if one rebelled against his own parents, where would that lead him in regard to the government and the law (yeah, even to God Himself)?
Third, recognize the involvement of the local authorities and the community. The parents were to take the rebellious son “to the elders of his city,” who were the local authorities who would weigh and judge the matter. If he was found guilty, “all the men of his city” were to “stone him to death” (Deut. 21:20-21). Think about our own system of judges and juries today, which shows the serious nature of the child’s sinful (and unlawful) behavior. Note also that “all Israel shall hear and fear,” providing a powerful deterrent for other sons who may be inclined to rebel against their parents.
Finally, recognize that whatever was involved in the son’s actions was “evil” (21:21). Nine times in Deuteronomy, God gave instructions to deal with egregious sin in the camp of Israel and concluded by saying, “So you shall put away the evil from among you.” Evil is not something that can be tolerated. It must be expunged. That is the focus of this difficult text.