I think everyone has said this at some point in their lives, “But they started it!” It usually involves a “tit for tat” or “an eye for an eye” situation that escalated into something much more. What we are saying is the evil that I have done is justified because they started it. In that moment, we have been overcome with evil.
Romans 12:9-20 gives us a list of things that we can put into practice in our lives in order to overcome or subdue evil with good. But, I will warn you. It is not easy. We will need to find real motivation for doing this.
“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. ‘But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:9-21).
It is easy to focus on the “heaping of burning coals” aspect, because maybe we are still trying to get them back. That might be what you need for the first few times you put this into practice. In the end, the real motivation for doing this should be out of love for God and our enemies. The things that are mentioned in Romans chapter 12 are very mature actions or steps to be taken. The purpose is to keep us from being over taken or subdued by evil. If we start taking our own vengeance, we are pulled down a path that leads to our own destruction. God says that vengeance is His and we can trust the He is the righteous judge.
I would challenge you to do two things this week. First, put these things from Romans 12:9-21 into practice. See how it plays out in your life. Second, trust God with vengeance and judgment. It will free you from a lot of undue burden.