“Patience is a virtue.” I heard that phrase countless times growing up and for good reason. Patience is something that has to be instilled in us early on because it takes time to develop. If we can learn to be patient, we can solve so many difficult problems in our lives.
This weekend millions of couples will celebrate Valentine’s Day. This is the holiday where as long as men manage to make their last-minute plans and purchases without their Valentine noticing, love is celebrated. With this day in mind, I want us to take a look at the most famous Bible passage on love, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, and see how we can make our marriages more loving. While each quality of love is equally important, in this article we are going to focus on the very first quality: patience.
“Love is patient” is what you will read if you have a NASB, NIV, or ESV Bible. It is the way most people remember the verse. Patience is not a difficult thing for us to understand. If you have ever been to the DMV, you understand patience. If you have a NKJV or KJV, the same word is translated “suffers long.” This rendering does an excellent job of helping us visualize what the word really means. Biblical patience is not something that you try for five minutes, and then all bets are off. Biblical patience means suffering through frustration, provocation and hardship as long is necessary for the sake of another. It is the kind of love that put Jesus on the cross. How much sin did Jesus endure before He gave His life for us?
We need patience in our marriages. A marriage without it cannot last. According to the National Institutes of Health, “The most commonly reported major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing.” Each of these factors could be prevented by Biblical patience. If you are suffering long for your spouse, will there be any question of your commitment? If you are patient in regard to their needs in the bedroom, how likely are they to feel unfulfilled or misused? If you are Biblically patient, how many arguments and conflicts can be avoided altogether?
Are you patient with your spouse? When you were married, you probably made a promise that sounded something like, “I take you to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Patience is a decision we make long before we ever have an argument or hardship. Will you suffer long for your spouse when they disappoint you? Will you suffer long for your spouse when they hurt you? When they disrespect you? Will you suffer long for your spouse when they won’t suffer for you? Let’s suffer for our marriages like Jesus suffered for us.