Oh, to be a parent! To be an involved and caring parent is the most joyous thing in life and the most painful. We have been given such a great responsibility when we are blessed with children. We are to bring up our children in the Lord. Then let them go and make their own choices and live their own lives. I would like to suggest three things we can do as parents in preparation for that day, when they leave.
First, we must teach them. It may go without saying but we must realize that they are learning whether we are teaching them or not. They are like sponges soaking up everything. We must be diligent in grooming and filtering what is absorbed. God stresses the importance of passing on the knowledge we have received from Him to future generations (Deut. 4:9; 6:4-7). By age seven, most of the “how” the child perceives self, the world around them and their relation to others has already been formed. The building blocks for self-concepts are set. What have you done to help shape what that is going to look like?
Second, we must be leading by example. Remember the sponge concept. This is true here as well. “O be careful little eyes what you see” should be a solemn reminder to us that we must model what we want to see in our children. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4) This applies in so many areas but here, leading by example, how is our life with the Lord? I have never met a parent that ever said, “Well, we were just too plugged into the church and too devoted to God,” or “If I could change one thing, we would not have been so devoted to church work.” I have heard a lot to the contrary. “Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you” (1Tim. 4:16). This is not just true in the work of the church, but in the rearing of children it is most poignant.
Lastly, we must discipline. I am not telling you how—I could give you some ideas—but it must be in place. Loving discipline with enforced boundaries are vital to the growth of our children. Hebrews 12:5-8 highlights the need for discipline. God does it to those He loves. Those children without discipline are not loved. As soon as a child can grasp the concept, they should understand that it is love that disciplines and guides them to righteousness. We will reap what we sow.
Here are three not-so-simple keys to parenting. These are vital if we want our children to be Godly. It is never too late to make some changes if these keys have been neglected.