They are out here, lurking in unsuspecting places. They could be anybody—a boss, a coworker, a family member or any random person with whom you cross paths. Before you know it, you have encountered a difficult person. You are often times left wondering, “What was that person’s problem?” or “How could I have handled that situation better?” Before your next encounter with this person, please consider the following.
Jesus was no stranger to difficult people. It seems He attracted them like flies to a picnic. The gospels tell us several ways He handled them: rebuke (John 8:47), silence (John 8:6), questions (Mark 11:28-29), Scripture (Mark 10:2-3) and stories (Luke 7:40-42). You generally can’t go wrong with a WWJD approach to life. However, Jesus was able to look into the hearts of men and respond accordingly. While we may not be able to do the same, we are given some practical wisdom on the matter.
“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (Luke 6:27-31). Peter gives us similar advice, “Not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:9).
The Proverbs also offer some insight into this plight. The wisdom found there would have us promote patience (Prov. 12:16). It would have us practice peacemaking (Prov. 20:3). It advises foresight in stopping the matter before it begins (Prov. 17:14). If possible, avoid contentious people (Prov. 22:24).
While you are trying to “live peaceably with all men” (Rom. 12:18), here are some things to think about. Keep your communication with that person logical and fact based. Give them no reason to differ with you. Make them the focus of the conversation. With the focus off of you, it is less likely that there will be difficulty. Stay away from hot topics and points of contention. Don’t try to get them to see your point of view. The odds are that they will not. Abandon the idea of who you need that person to be. Accept them for who they are right now with no expectation of change. This can be very rewarding. Regrettably, we do have to interact with people like this. In all of this, never forget to pray and keep the fruit of the Spirit shining (Gal. 5:22-23).