What does it mean to have an “open marriage”? At one time, it indicated that a person was open to marry whomever he/she would choose and was not restricted by any social or parental regulations. It later came to denote married couples who had open communication or flexibility of their roles in the home. No longer does it refer to what could be characterized as such “innocent” connotations. It is much different today.
In a passing comment recently about a Hollywood celebrity couple, a television reporter mentioned that “they have an open marriage.” What does that mean? Unfortunately, even if you are not certain what it means, your suspicions are accurate!
“Open marriage” (also known as a sexually non-monogamous marriage or polyamory) typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in sexual relationships outside the marriage, without such being regarded as infidelity. So, if you were in an “open marriage,” you would have permission (even encouragement) from your spouse to have sex with others. It sounds so modern, so understanding, so non-judgmental, so open-minded and tolerant. So, if I have my spouse’s permission (yeah, my spouse’s blessing), what could be wrong with giving this a try?
Some say that as long as you lay down the ground rules and both agree to them, that this kind of relationship is worth the try. But, not everyone agrees!
Some say that such relationships should be avoided because they lack social acceptance and create social awkwardness. Others add that these kinds of relationships are a recipe for disaster, as they create all kinds of jealousy issues.
Some therapists point to serious emotional hurt and distress that many open marriages generate, as well as the increased risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease.
No matter what the experts might say and no matter what permission one spouse might give to another, God clearly condemns all adulterous behavior. “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex. 20:14). “Whoever commits adultery…destroys his own soul” (Prov. 6:32). “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). “Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers…will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Cor. 6:9-10). “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). It mat-ters not what rules of “freedom” a couple might make for their relationship, when God’s rules clearly and eternally condemn!