Apple received a letter from the California Teachers Pension (CalSTRS) investor Jana Partners recently. Apple was asked to develop software that would make it easier to control the amount of time children spend on their phone. Also, she asked them to do a study on excessive phone use and mental health. Apple responded saying that since 2008 they have had apps that would help parents control phone use. They released a statement saying, “We take this responsibility very seriously and we are committed to meeting and exceeding our customers’ expectations, especially when it comes to protecting kids.” While I applaud Apple’s answer and dedication to their product and user interface, I am still left with one question. Why is this Apple’s responsibility? I was under the impression that I, as a parent, have the responsibility to nurture and guide my child (Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:4). If that includes limiting cell phone use even to the point of confiscation, that should still be my responsibility, not Apple’s.
Here are some completely unscientific, yet effective preventative measures to ensure that your child is not on their phone more than they should be. First, model good phone behavior. It probably goes without saying that if we expect certain behavior out of our children we should show them what that looks like. Before you begin to regulate their phone use, ask yourself what habits you are modeling. When you talk with your children about their use be honest about yours. Maybe less cell phone use would be good for the whole family. Designate no phone times and other family-wide guidelines for proper use.
Second, take control of the phone. It is uncommon for youth to be paying for their own service. As a parent and one who is paying for the service, you have a right and obligation to monitor use of the device. Set limits to for data usage and time frames when the phone must be off. Have your child charge the phone in the living room over night or do not allow them to have it in the bedroom over night. There are apps out there that help with this. One of those apps is MMGuardian Parent App. It will allow you to monitor, track and set limits on the usage of the phone. Please be upfront with your child if you decide to use such an app. This is not a trust issue but a safeguard to help our youth not fall into unhealthy habits.
I realize that this is easier said than done. Please see this as a responsibility we have as parents to help our children learn healthy and appropriate boundaries for the use of technology. This is more than just using the cell phone. It is about parents modeling and instilling a healthy use of all things tech.