What do you talk about over dinner? There is an international initiative that started at the University of Washington called, “Let’s Have Dinner and Talk About Death.” The plan is to initiate conversation about end-of-life care and wishes from loved ones. According to this group, people are not having this conversation. When asked why have it at the dinner table, they said, “The dinner table is the most forgiving place for difficult conversation.” They describe the event as taking place with family and friends. Everyone is privy to the subject before the dinner begins. It is encouraged to talk about those who have passed and to talk about your own wishes for your end-of-life care. They suggest that you answer some of the important questions about end-of-life care. As a result of this dinner, it is encouraged to have a living will drafted as well as a list of your wishes so that your loved ones will know.
While having one’s earthly affairs in order is a good thing and helpful to those we leave behind, there is something far more important about this eminent event. “And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment” (Heb. 9:27). Paul spoke with fondness concerning his death, “having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better” (Phil. 1:23). With that perspective, death is a transition to the long awaited reward of faithful service. There may be a twinge of fear due to the unknown, but the confident faith drowns out that small voice of fear. We are left with the hope that faith will become sight. For those of us who have made the choice to follow Christ and to faithfully live that life, this confidence is assured in judgement.
There may be some around the dinner table who are not so assured. This is where death over dinner may be a great event for your friends and family. With the guise of talking about end-of-life plans is legitimate, it will also lend itself to “after this life” discussions. I am not suggesting that these conversations be confrontational or intervention style ambushes. However, they will allow us to talk about those things that do not come up in normal conversation. Children, for example, need to know about death and be able to talk about it in a way that allows them to explore the subject with family. Remembering loved ones and talking fondly about them is therapeutic for those still grieving the loss. Most importantly, it is a time to remember the frailty of life. “Lord, make me to know my end and what is the extent of my days; let me know how transient I am. Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my lifetime as nothing in Your sight; surely every man at his best is a mere breath” (Psa. 39:4-5). Maybe you will talk about this over dinner one night. You may have friends and family that need to have this conversation.