It was the habit of President Abraham Lincoln to cheer wounded soldiers in the hospitals by visiting them. The story goes that while visiting one young union soldier who was very near death, he asked, “Is there anything I can do for you?” The boy replied, “Can you write a letter for me?”—not knowing he was speaking to the President of the United States. The Commander and Chief wrote as the soldier spoke. As the boy finished, he signed, “Written for your son by Abraham Lincoln.” The soldier read it in surprise. Mr. Lincoln asked, “Now, is there anything else I can do?” “Could you hold my hand? I think it would help me pass,” was his reply. Abraham Lincoln held his hand until he passed a short time later.
Kindness is an indelible trait. According to a recent study by the Making Caring Common Project, kindness may not be a trait that our children are growing up with. Eighty percent of the children in the study said that their parents were more concerned about their academic achievements and happiness than how they treat others in their community. The researchers, led by Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd, stated, “Children are not born simply good or bad, and we should never give up on them. They need adults who will help them become caring, respectful, and responsible for their communities at every stage of their childhood” (Amy Joyce, Are You Raising Nice Kids?).
This study provided five suggestions to raising kinder children. 1. Make caring for others a priority, and balance it with other healthy needs. 2. Provide opportunities for them to practice being kind. 3. Extend your child’s circle of concern beyond your immediate family. 4. Be a strong model and mentor by modeling ethical values. 5. Guide children in managing destructive feelings like anger, envy and jealousy.
While these are good practical suggestions, listen to what the Bible says about kindness. “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men” (Luke 6:35). “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Col. 3:12). “The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm” (Prov. 11:17).
Kindness comes from a heart that has learned to have compassion for others. President Lincoln demonstrated this in his famous Lincoln Letters. His stark contrast to our current options only highlight the extreme need of kindness.