Marriage was created by God to be the closest human relationship that a person could have while living on this earth. Thus, when it comes to questions about marriage—including the choosing of a spouse—our source of wisdom and authority is not human or cultural but Divine! What does God teach about who a person should marry, and more specifically, who a Christian should marry?
First, one must marry one of the opposite sex. Read carefully the distinction that God made between male and female and how His design for marriage involves one male to one female (Gen. 1:26-28; 2:18-25; Mark 10:6-9).
Second, one must marry one who is eligible to marry. God restricts those who can enter marriage to: (1) a person who has never been married (1 Cor. 7:28; 9:5); (2) a person whose spouse has died (Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39); (3) a person who put away his/her spouse for fornication (Matt. 19:9).
Third, a Christian must marry a Christian, and more specifically, a faithful Christian. That statement may catch some off guard and even engender a sharp disagreement. But, let us consider some Biblical teachings and warnings on this subject and let Divine wisdom and authority lead us.
In the Old Testament, God warned the Jews not to marry outside their faith. They were not to “make marriages” with those who were not Jews, and He gave two specific reasons: (1) “For they will turn [you] away from following Me, to serve other gods,” and (2) “For you are a holy people to the Lord your God” (Deut. 7:1-6; cf. Ex. 34:10-16).
In the Old Testament, God’s warnings to the Jews (if they married outside their faith) came true. Although God instructed His people to “not intermarry,” Solomon did, and “his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God” (1 Kgs. 11:1-4). Many of the Jews later intermarried, “so that the holy seed is mixed,” and they were punished for their “iniquities” and “guilt” (Ezra 9-10).
In the New Testament, God instructs Christians to marry faithful Christians. Christians are to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matt. 6:33), and to “not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14-7:1). Would these instructions not include the choice of a spouse? It was specified that widows and apostles could marry “only” a brother/sister “in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39; 9:5). Would this not also apply to all Christians?
God’s design for marriage is for a husband and wife to be “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Pet. 3:7). This requires that both be faithful children of God. It matters!